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Forever giggling to myself that my headcanon for the whole Sarge dying and seeing Church in the “afterlife” in season 2(?) is that AlphaChurch’s mindscape is actually the stupid empty box canyon and the only other person there with him is the tank that’s responsible for killing him.

So when he sees Sarge get shot, his mind offers up Sarge’s projection. And when he sees Sarge come back to life, the projection goes away.

And then when Wash takes AlphaChurch with him in season 6, and Church is wandering around Wash’s warehouse of cataloged memories (“Mine pre-PFL” “Epsilon Intact” “Epsilon Fragments” “Mine - Recovery One”), and Wash eventually stumbles into Church’s mind of Valhalla.

And Church is all, “ahem. Ta da?”

And Wash just stares. “This is…this is the canyon you got stationed at.”

"Yeah, not much, but it’s home, y’know."

"It’s empty."

And Church sighs happily. “Yeah. Isn’t it wonderful?”

And Sheila rolls up and Wash is just like eternally confused because this is the Alpha and man were those AI fragments about to be really fucking disappointed and in the distance Church is just yelling “Sheila, I told you, you can come to this side of the canyon only if you stop trying to kill me!”


I like the idea that Link is the Fierce Deity reborn.

It finishes the trio: Ganondorf is the reincarnation of Demise’s hatred, Zelda is the reincarnation of Hylia, but as far as we know in canon, Link’s just some guy.

Now why would the Goddesses choose some normal guy to be their hero?  They wouldn’t, it’s too risky.  But a guy that holds the soul of a god, now that’s something worth investing a plan in.

Plus it explains why he’s instantly an expert in whatever new weapon he picks up.  Why he’s such an outstanding fighter when in most of the games he’s not shown to have any real combat experience before starting out on his quest.  Why he’s able to face things no mortal man would ever be able to face without going insane, and not only keeping his sanity, but winning.

And the Goddesses accidentally created Termina as well when they created Hyrule, so it’s not like they have no dominion over the Fierce Deity.  The mask was probably something he left behind in Termina when he transcended his form in case the people ever needed his power again.

No idea how Majora got it tho.

A Possible Ending to Red Vs. Blue

This is just what I think might be a fitting ending to Red Vs. Blue.

[All the main characters (i.e. Epsilon-Church, Carolina, Wash, and the Reds and Blues, etc.) are all standing at the edge of a base overlooking a box canyon, perhaps watching a sunset, after yet another zany adventure. Grif and Simmons share a look, then in unison turn to Epsilon and speak:]

Grif & Simmons (nostalgia in their voices): Do you ever wonder why we’re here?

[Church contemplates for a second.]

Church (in his “monologue” voice): Sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if God or Fate or something had this all planned out, or if it’s all just some random coincidence. But, you know what? It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we are here. And that’s pretty good.

[Everyone turns back to the sunset.]

[Screen fades to black.]

I think it would be fitting if they ended with something like that. Of course, it would also be fitting if they added something like this:

[Everyone turns back to the sunset.]

[Screen fades to black.]

[*Loud crash*]

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